Break Through Those Walls.

Alright, starting off my 6th week here at good 'ol DBU (Can you believe it?!?) with a heavy blog post. This has been on my list of things to write about for about 5 weeks - so bear with me as I dish all of this out. It's worth reading to the end - trust me.
For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with 3 main things: Pride, Trust, & Anxiety. These things trip me up SO bad in my walk with Christ. I can't tell you how many journal entries I have dedicated to my struggle with trusting the Lord, relying on myself, and worrying about the future. It's seriously ridiculous. My first week of school here, I really dug into why I am the way that I am. I really examined my past and tried to figure out where all of these issues stem from. It hurt to find the answers - but I'm thankful that I found them. I'd been hanging on to some hurts for a while. And I didn't want to let go of them. There was a night where I spent before the Lord just upset. Why couldn't I beat this? Why is it so hard for me to trust? Why can't I just get the heck over myself and surrender to His will? I was messed up, ya'll. All I could do was pray. And I asked others to do the same. Fast forward a few days.
School starts, and I'm enrolled in a class about Christian Leadership. Basically we discuss qualities of a good Christian leader and what could hinder us from that. Day 2 of class's subject: Pride, anxiety, and trust. It was then that I realized that all of my issues were linked together.
Here's how my teacher explained this truth that completely shattered my world. Pride is any kind of focus on yourself - negative or positive. A lot of people think that humility is thinking less of yourself, but it's not. It's think of yourself LESS.
1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting ALL your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.
Here's the breakdown: Any fear, stress, worry, is a trap from Satan making you ineffective. When you keep your anxieties to yourself, you're saying you don't trust God to handle them. We think WE can do it on our own. Hey! That's pride! Worry is also a sign of distrust. If we're anxious about something - we are NOT trusting it to God. Therefore, bringing us back to our prideful assumption that we can handle it and He can't. Wooh! Truth. So we have to humble ourselves and realize that we're not strong enough to handle our anxiety and give all of our fears, worries, issues to HIM. And at the proper time, meaning Heaven, we will be rewarded for the lives that we lived in total surrender to an Almighty God.
This truth right here, has literally SET ME FREE! The Lord is faithful!
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 
Let me close by saying how thankful I am the Lord has brought me to DBU. He is working in my life and changing me from the inside out IN CLASS. How crazy is that?!? I love it here and I can't wait to see what the next 6 weeks will hold. Pray for strength, endurance, and energy for me, as my schedule is  level 10 crazy. Thanks so much for reading this!
Alyssa